i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
