and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
