Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm gonna fight the coyote
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
