You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
