So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize
