You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
