my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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