I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
oh god was she eating orange peels again
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
