god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
