in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
