Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize