Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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