No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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