make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
