We won't sleep together?
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Randomize