Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
