I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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