I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
