Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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