The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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