This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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