i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
