Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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