My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
