well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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