I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
COCAINE IS GR8
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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