If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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