the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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