You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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