I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
