i permit you to call me
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
