'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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