I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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