i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
this beer tastes like vomit already
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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