Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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