K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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