the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
