It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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