He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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