this beer tastes like vomit already
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize
