Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
