You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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