I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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