CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
