I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
