On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
