well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
