just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
