i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
