Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(636): View more from Missouri

I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?

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(310): View more from California

my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo

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(510): View more from California

i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me

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(410): View more from Maryland

Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.

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(647): View more from Ontario

I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS

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(713): View more from Texas

just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal

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(727): View more from Florida

all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u

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(302): View more from Delaware

I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?

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