Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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