Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
