we're blogging at a bar
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
