Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
