UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
