Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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