so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize